


Guardian Angel

by ourladyofmumbles



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hospitalization, Reader-Insert, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:17:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourladyofmumbles/pseuds/ourladyofmumbles
Summary: He was your mission - and with Hydra dissolved, there was no reason for you to care anymore. Yet here you are.





	1. Line of Sight

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my older works. I think I've gotten a lot better with my writing, but I figured someone might like to read it.
> 
> also this was written before CA:Civil War came out

“This is stupid.” You mutter to yourself for the fifteenth time as you sit in the car, eyes trained on the museum’s entrance. HYDRA was in disarray, it would take them at least two more days to figure out you were still alive. “I could be on a flight to Mexico right now.” You tell yourself again. The image was a nice one: sandy beaches, cool drinks, learning to surf. Far away from HYDRA and SHIELD and superhero politics, a retirement of sorts. Yet here you were, idling in front of a museum, waiting for the Winter Soldier to finish whatever it was he was doing. This was a surefire way to get caught, but even as you tightened your grip on the steering wheel, you knew you wouldn’t drive away. 

The Winter Soldier. HYDRA’s metal-armed super weapon. Your assignment. He needed a handler, and you were the only one not afraid enough to do it. Of course, the other agents would never admit to being scared, but you knew they were. And with good reason: The job didn’t just entail flying the super weapon to the drop point or manning the getaway vehicle; but also tailing him silently, taking out threats he didn’t know existed, making sure no harm came to him. He wasn’t as careful as the world believed, and you were the only one standing between him and the myriad of people who wanted him dead. Not that he would know. It was your job to remain hidden. It was a thankless job, and the other HYDRA agents had taken to calling you  _ The Guardian Angel:  _ always there but never seen. It was a fitting nickname, and one you were living up to. You’d even disarmed the metal scanner to the museum before he entered, to make sure his cover wasn’t blown.

“This is  _ stupid _ .” You said again, punching the steering wheel. He was just a job. You didn’t owe him anything. But… you felt bad for him. You’d been there when his mind was wiped after every mission, you’d read the files on James Buchanan Barnes. You told yourself it was just for the job, but you knew you were lying. You tried to talk to him once while flying him on one of your first missions together, but his responses had been curt and uninterested. He wasn’t a man. He was a machine. But he used to be a man; with a family and a best friend and a dog who had all been waiting for him to return from a war, who never knew what became of the happy-go-lucky Bucky Barnes. You were so lost in thought you almost didn’t notice him leave the museum, glancing around before walking down the sidewalk. 

He didn’t see you. 

You stared at him, hesitating. The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes. The machine, the man. The weapon, the hero. Your assignment, your responsibility. You couldn’t let him be alone. He had been alone for a long time, and if he was planning on remembering, he was going to need your help. You exited the car, slamming the door and running after him. People on the sidewalk shouted as you shoved past them, but you paid them no mind. You were his Guardian Angel and, he needed you, even if he didn’t realize it. And you needed him. He gave you purpose. 

When you finally caught up to him, you were still unsure of what to say. You took a deep breath and placed a hand on his right shoulder. He turned quickly, his blues eyes angry and suspicious at first, but then they softened. He stopped walking, looking in your eyes as you stood there grasping for something to say. Finally, he spoke, his tone soft and unsure. 

“Don’t… don’t I know you?”


	2. Right Besides You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd always had his back. But being a bodyguard and being a friend are two different thinks entirely.

The sea breeze blowing through your hair was a pleasant respite on such a hot day. You stared at the waves rolling in and out, crashing against the yellow sand. You wanted nothing more than to run into the water, drench your sunburned skin, ride a wave or two…

“You didn’t have to sacrifice your surfing for me.” His shadow blocked the sun, giving your skin relief from its rays. You smiled and turned towards his sunburnt face, graciously accepting the water bottle he offered you.

“I don’t mind. Besides, if we don’t go shopping, we won’t have food for tonight.” You say with a grin, bringing the ice-cold liquid to your mouth. He gave you a small smile, tugging at his unzipped hoodie. Your smile disappeared as you swallowed: he must be sweltering.

“I wish you didn’t have to wear that.” You said as you handed the water back to him. He shrugged, extending his right arm and taking it from you. His left hand remained firmly in the hoodie pocket. You sighed as he finished off the bottle. “Hey, maybe if I tattoo my arm to look just like it, you can go surfing with me.” You said jokingly, and he smiled before throwing the empty container in the nearest trash can.

“I don’t think that’ll make us any less conspicuous. Besides, salt water can’t be good for steel.” He said as you walked towards the open-air market. You fell into the easy silence that you’d spent so much time getting used to. Maybe Mexico hadn’t been the smartest place to take someone with a full-metal arm, but you’d basically done a tour of Europe together already, and when you heard rumors of the Winter Soldier being spotted in France you’d high-tailed it across the Atlantic. You’d have preferred to stay a little longer: the landmarks you’d brought him to jogged his memories. He was becoming more and more like his old self every day. Or at least, you thought he was. You’d never known him before he’d been wiped, and that thought weighed heavily on you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard you tried, you weren’t actually helping. “Don’t worry so much.”  His quiet voice interrupted your thoughts. You looked up at him, shrugging. He could read you far too well. “You’re helping, really. I would have been caught in a matter of days if it weren’t for you. And besides, I enjoy the company. Even… even when I didn’t really know you… I…” You smiled and put a hand on his shoulder: emotional stuff wasn’t easy for him, and you appreciated that he was trying.

“Hey, aren’t I supposed to be the one comforting you?” You asked jokingly, and his ray-of-sunshine smile spread across his face again. You lived for those smiles.

“It… it can go both ways. Besides, I like it when you’re relaxed. Especially when you’re surfing… I like to see you happy…” He would always sit on a towel on the beach while you surfed, that silly striped umbrella doing its best to keep him in the shade. He’d bring a book with him, but whenever you resurfaced from a wipe-out he’d be looking for you, and he’d wave happily on the rare occasion you actually managed to stay on your board.

“Yeah, well, we should probably be leaving soon. We’ve stayed here too long as it is.” Seagulls circled above you, yelling at one another. You wondered where the two of you should head next: Guatemala? Belize? Maybe Canada, just to really throw off whoever might be following you.

“We… we don’t have to… I like it here.” Bucky said sheepishly. You sighed: traveling was getting tiresome for him.

“I like it here too, but we can’t stay.” He looked down, and you bit your lip “I’m sorry Bucky, I really am, but we just have to stay one step ahead of them. I swore to look after you, to protect you, and this is the only way…” He nodded, but the smile was gone from his face. You sighed. “Bucky… I… maybe we should find Steve Rogers.” He turned to look at you, confusion in his eyes. “He knows more about your past, and he has powerful friends. He could keep you safe.”  _ Safer than I can  _ “and help you remember. I can keep bouncing from place to place, dropping hints to keep Hydra on my tail, and you can stay with Steve… make some roots…” your heart was breaking as you said the words, but you knew this was the right thing. Steve knew him well, and Captain America would fight tooth-and-nail to keep his best friend by his side. Of course, this meant you’d have to be alone again… but it was for the best. You sighed and looked up into the perfect blue sky, wondering why your thoughts were so cloudy.

“You… you want to get rid of me, don’t you?” Bucky’s answer was practically a whisper. You stopped walking, utterly shocked at the words he said.

“What? No! God no, Bucky! Why would you think that?” He had his back to you, but you could see his hands clenching into fists.

“I… I know I’m not the best company. I’m awkward, I’m moody, I rarely know what’s going on and… when I was the Winter Soldier…” he took a deep breath, it sounded as if he was about to cry “You had a front-row seat for all of my missions. You know how much of a monster I really am.” You were speechless. How could he think that? He was brainwashed, for god’s sake, and you had joined Hydra willingly! If he was a monster, you were worse. As you thought this you watched him began to shake and realized he was actually crying. Without thinking you grabbed his shoulders and spun him into a hug. You felt his entire body tense as you held him, pressing your lips to his ear.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are not a monster. Not to me. We’ve been through a lot together and I want nothing more than to keep you close and safe. Believe me, I’ve been very selfish keeping you with me for this long but… I can’t keep you from yourself forever. I’m suggesting this not because I want to get rid of you, but because I want to give you the chance to find yourself again. I want you to be happy.” He relaxed into you, dropping his head to your shoulder and wrapping his arms around you. The metal one felt cool against your skin, and he was touching you lightly as if you would break. But his tears kept falling and he pulled you closer as he struggled to contain himself.

“I…I…” He said, but you shushed him, running a hand up and down his back. You stood together for a while until the shaking stopped and his breaths slowed into an easy rhythm. When you finally broke the embrace, you were surprised to find him reluctant to let go. “You make me happy.” He said, his blue eyes piercing into yours. “You’re a… Angel. My Angel. I don’t… I don’t want you to go.” His voice was pleading. You smiled.

“Then I won’t. I promise. I’ll stay right by your side.” He nodded, the smile returning to his face. Taking your hand in his, he resumed the walk towards the market, while the tide rolled in behind you.


	3. Left Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: violence. Not exactly graphic but described

Your heart was pounding in your chest as your feet beat against the dirt road, sending up a cloud of dust and gravel with each step, the impact reverberating through your legs as you ran.  _ Faster.  _ You picked up your pace, daring a glance behind you. The night was dark and empty.  _ Are they gone?  _ You chased away the hopeful thought, concentrating on keeping your pace. The small cottage came into view, a light flickering in the front window.  _ He waited up for me…  _ in any other situation that would make your heart skip a beat, but if your heartbeat fluctuated at that moment it would more than likely kill you.  _ Concentrate. _

You burst down the door with a bang. He was lying out on the old couch, shaking off sleep. You ran into the kitchen and yanked a drawer open, taking out a pair of pistols and reloading them as quickly as possible.  _ It’s been a while since you’ve had to do this.  _ The weight of the firearm was not as comforting as you had hoped it would be. You heard him move and stretch behind you, speaking in a voice full of sleep. 

“I thought you said you’d only be a few minutes, it’s been over an hour…” His voice faded as you turned to face him and he took you in. His long black hair was still a mess, his metal arm was shining in the dim kitchen light. He was shirtless, his feet were bare, his boxers were peeking out from under his jeans, and there was still sleep clinging to his eyes.  _ Even like this, he’s still beautiful… _ You were panting, trying to catch your breath. 

“We’ve been compromised.” You said, trying to keep your voice calm and your head clear. You tossed him a gun, and his metal arm shot out to grab it. You cocked yours and removed the safety, trying your best to stay focused.  “Grab what you need, we have to--” 

The sound of gunshots rang through the tiny house, and suddenly you were knocked to the ground. He was shielding you with his body, firing towards the shooter. You ducked around him and let out a couple of rounds yourself. Outside, you heard a muffled sound and the dull thud of a body hitting the ground. Orders were being shouted in Russian.  _ Hydra. We should have left, we should have been one step ahead...  _ You gritted your teeth: It was no use thinking of that now. You needed to get him to safety. 

“Bucky, listen, I’ll cover you while--” The front window shattered and smoke filled the room. You couldn’t feel his skin against you anymore. “Bucky!” you called into the haze, coughing “BUCKY!” you yelled louder. Suddenly there was a hand on your left shoulder, and you relaxed slightly in relief. Then the knife plunged into your back; cutting through skin, muscle, and bone like paper before being ripped out and plunged in again and again. You couldn’t feel it. You fell, knees hitting the floor, hands unconsciously going to the wound. The blood was warm and sticky on your fingers.  Far away you heard a cry if pain. Slowly you looked up to see him struggling towards you, calling your name, a Hydra agent on each arm.  _ I’m sorry…  _ “Не трогай его” the voice was yours, but you didn’t remember calling out. “Не трогай его, please, don’t hurt him… please…” you were falling forward, you didn’t even try to catch yourself as the floor came rushing up towards you. “Please… Don’t… Hurt…” 

* * *

 

“Cap, this one’s still alive!” 

Every nerve in your body screamed as the man turned you around. You heard him swear as another pair of footsteps approached.  _ No, you’re wrong… I died… they took him and I died…  _ you groaned as your eyes forced themselves open. Two men floated foggily in your field of vision. How long had you been out?  _ Dead. You’re dead. You promised to protect him or  _ **_die_ ** _ trying.  _

“Hey. Stay with us, now. My name’s Steve and this here’s my buddy Sam, and we’re going to get you help.” The voices floated in and out, like the faces. 

_ No, not me. Him.  _ “Bucky…”  _ Save him, not me  _ “Hydra found… I tried…”  _ I failed…  _

“Hey, hey, don’t worry. We’re going to find him. All of us, together.” 

_ No. Not me…  _ “Save him… promise me… save him… Bucky… Bu…cky…” They were talking again, but you were floating, you were fading, you were dying. A red, white, and blue shield floated at the edge of your vision as you slipped away. 

“We’ll find him. I promise.” 

_ Good. Find him, Captain America, and save him. Save him for me.  _


	4. Right Above You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter.

The brightness that pierced through your vision made you wonder for a moment if your mother was right and heaven was real. Maybe there was a golden gate and a choir of angels waiting to welcome you in. If so, you would tell them there'd been a mistake. There was no place for you among the good and the just. You'd failed the only person that ever needed you. As your eyes adjusted and you realized that the glow was a light, you let out a sigh. Whether it was of relief or disappointment you couldn't tell.

 

"Hey there." A voice, vaguely familiar, floated into your head. You turned groggily towards it, seeing the blinking laser lights on the screens next to you before focusing on the man who was speaking. His gap-toothed smile was as warm as the voice that spoke to you. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Like hell." You responded, your voice dry and rough. You felt an ache in your chest and back as you moved your hand to feel the tube that was attached to your nose. The machines beeped wildly and the man stood up with alarm.

 

"Woah, take it easy there! You've been through a lot!" He said, placing a hand on your arm. You winced slightly as your nerve ends reawakened. He removed his hand and left it hanging awkwardly for a moment before crossing his arms. You looked at him once again, trying to remember where you heard his voice before. "Do you want some water?" He asked and you nodded slowly, licking your dry lips. He reached for a cup and brought it to your mouth gingerly.  

 

As the liquid rushed down your parched throat you remembered: Mexico, the house by the sea, the attack, the smoke, Bucky... He took the cup away from your lips and set it back on the table.

 

"Did you find him?" The voice must have been yours, but it sounded alien to you. The man nodded, crossing his arms again.

 

“Yeah, about 10 minutes after we found you. He’s fine, just went out to get some lunch. He normally spends all his time here.” You let out another sigh, they had succeeded where you had failed. Bucky was safe. You looked at him with gratitude as the rest of that terrible night filtered into your memory.

 

"Did... Did I die?" His lips parted in surprise at the question you were surprised you'd asked.

 

"Um...yeah. You were in really bad shape when we found you but Steve did his best to stop the bleeding..." his eyes widened in realization "Oh! I'm Sam by the way. Sam Wilson. Steve Rogers and I found you while we were searching for Bucky and we got you back to a hospital. You flatlined for a while and we all thought you were a goner, but Bucky..." He gave another gap - toothed smile and a shrug. "Well, all that matters is that you're alive and safe.." You nodded. You were safe. Bucky was safe. You owed these men a debt you could never repay. The beeping on the monitors began to calm down and Sam Wilson gave a sigh of relief. "Hey, could I ask you a question?"  

 

"Shoot."

 

"Is that your real name?" He said, pointing towards your right wrist. "We had Natasha run a background check on you to see if you had any medical allergies or something and she couldn't find anything; Which is pretty impressive..." You brought your hand closer to your face, focusing on the white band around your wrist. On it was a name,  written in a doctor's nearly illegible scrawl:

 

Angel Barnes

 

A smile spread across your face as you read it. All of a sudden, the wind was knocked out of you as what felt like a sledgehammer slammed into your chest.  The machines went wild and the room filled with shouts as a crop of black hair tickled your face. The smell of shampoo and aftershave filled your nose.

 

"You're awake! I missed it, I’m sorry, I was getting food. I try to stay here as often as I can but Steve says I should eat and keep learning about my past. He said you’d want me to do that and I know he’s was right but I should have been here... we’ve been all around Washington,  I met Sam and Natasha and Tony and Bruce and..." He rambled on and on. You smiled as you ran your hand through his thick black locks.

 

"You got a haircut..." your voice was weak and you were struggling to catch your breath,  but you weren't about to tell him to get off of you. Bucky lifted his head, his blue eyes meeting yours.

 

"Ye...yeah. Do... Do you like it?" His voice was full of worry. You smiled and trailed your hand down his face, cupping his clean-shaven cheek. His eyes filled with tears. "I... I was so worried. There was so much blood... The doctor said there was nothing he could do and Steve said we should let you rest but... I couldn't... I couldn't leave you..."

 

"Hey, hey." You said softly, petting his hair. "I'm here. I'm always here, remember?" You took his metal hand in yours, and he brushed away a strand of your hair with his real one. "I'm your Angel, and angels always watch over... They're always right above..."

 

And then he was kissing you. His lips warm and clumsy against yours. You heard a low whistle in the background but you couldn't care less. When he broke away you were breathless and dizzy all over again.

 

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that..." He said looking away and blushing. You might have laughed if your chest didn't hurt so much. You moved both hands to cup his face and gently pulled him towards you.

 

And then you kissed him. And it was warm and sweet and nervous. It was ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘you're forgiven’ and ‘I was so scared’ and ‘its ok now’ all wrapped up in one. It was I-should-have-kissed-you-sooner and I-should-have-kept-you-closer and I’m-just-so-glad-we’re-both-alive said without any words. Somewhere Sam made some sort of comment. Somewhere Steve gawked at the scene in front of him. But in that moment nothing was real except his lips on yours. But you were still weak from your wounds, and you had to break it off sooner than you’d like. And he smiled at you. The smile warmer than the sun and sweeter than anything you’d ever tasted. He moved off of you, lying beside you and wrapping his arms around you gingerly. You kissed the top of his forehead before turning to look at the men next to you.

 

“Mr. Wilson, Mr. Rogers… I can’t thank you enough for saving him. I thought I could protect him but…” you trailed off as Captain America held out his hand.

 

“We didn’t save him, you did that yourself,” he said with a smile. “Thank you for bringing him back.”  You nodded, unsure of what to say. Bucky squeezed you tighter, moving his lips against your ear.

 

“Thank you, Angel, for coming back to me.”


End file.
